Dear Douchebag Who Smashed My Car Window Last Night

1. You're an idiot for not being able to jimmy open a 1996 Honda with manual locks. A retarded baby could pick the locks on this car. It's been broken into 4 times since I moved to LA, and flat out stolen once. You're the only one who couldn't figure out how to get in without smashing the window.

2. Thank you, but you're an idiot for not taking anything. Sure, you didn't find that ipod or GPS you were looking for, but there was probably $150 in various ipod/GPS/phone accessories in the glove compartment, plus a nifty pair of cleats in the backseat.

3. I saw you opened the plastic bag in the backseat that had a blood-soaked t-shirt in it. You didn't know that was fake blood, did you? I hope it freaked you out.

4. Like I said, my little Honda's been broken into by better men than you. Let's review:

First time was right after we got back from New Year's Eve in San Fransisco. I consider this one my fault, because amid all the unpacking, I forgot to lock the passenger side door. This one sucked because my new ipod was in there (good lesson: do not leave ipod in car). When I bought a new ipod, I got it engraved to say "If you're not Courtney Davis, then this ipod is STOLEN!!!" Somewhat useless, but made me feel better.

The second and third times I get mixed up because nothing was actually stolen and no damage was done to the car. On one occasion, I just came out in the morning to find that my car had been rummaged through. Nothing taken, no damage. The other time was when Todd and I went downtown to see some music and parked briefly to have a drink at a bar. We were only in the bar about 20 minutes, but when we came out, my driver's side door was ajar and my glove compartment had been rummaged through. I consider myself hard-core lucky on this one, because I had left my purse in the backseat.

Then my car was flat out stolen in January 2008. I came out on a Sunday morning to go to yoga and realized it was gone. The cops found it a week later, abandoned downtown somewhere. Broken ignition switch, dead battery, and blown out speakers (they were jamming!!!), but otherwise okay.

I don't really understand why so many people in LA want to break into a shitty 1996 Honda CX hatchback. It's times like these when I think LA really doesn't like me. And I say, I don't like you either, LA. And by the way, you're covered in trash.

Lighter $120 Bucks, but Otherwise Not Too Bad

good car

1 comment:

  1. Two things.
    1. Austin LOVES you.
    2. I just, for the first time in 153 of my own dumb posts, used "D-Bags" as one of my labels at the end of the post. Then I read this post. Maybe we need to have a collaborative douchebag posting. Me thinks we both may have a couple good stories just sitting in the douchebag waiting to be blogged about.