Disneyland Birthday

Just went to Disneyland on my birthday. It was RAD. Why?

1. It's free on your birthday. Free!!! Or if you have a season pass, they give you 72 bucks in Disney cash. 72 bucks!!! Spend it on Disney junk!

2. They give you a giant button to wear that says it's your birthday! Then all day long, people wish you a happy birthday! When I walked in the gates, the old guy ticket taker immediately noticed the button and said, "Well, happy Sweet Sixteen, young lady!" Terrific.

3. Disney's dedication to theme. I love being called an "aviator" or a "bobsledder" just for being on a ride. The best one was when we got done with the Toy Story ride and the ride operator said, "Welcome back, toys!"

4. The 4-year-old in sunglasses who rode the Ferris wheel with us. He was loving it in a very zen way. He broke out into a tiny grin every time I screamed.

5. While waiting in line for the Ferris wheel, hearing the white guy announcer say "Bienvenidos a Mickey's Fun Wheel!" about a thousand times. I don't know why I found this so entertaining.

6. Performances that spontaneously appear in the street. I was looking for a place to eat lunch, and a float full of High School Musical singers and dancers sailed by. Later we were trying to cross Main Street when a dozen people on stilts in crazy outfits came dancing down the avenue in front of us.

7. Little girls in princess dresses.

8. People wearing Mickey or Goofy ears, especially the mopey-looking teenagers. Hilarious! And lady with the entire Magic Castle and all the Disney characters tattooed across her entire back. Holy shit! Who are you??

9. Disney policy is as long as you're in line for a ride at closing time, you still get to ride it. This is an excellent policy.

10. Hugging a person in a giant costume. Will I ever get too old for this? I hope not.

It reminds me of when I played Barbie at a Toys R Us opening several years ago. It was awesome. Got to dress as Barbie for 3 days and get hugs from little kids. (My goal was to un-brainwash the girls by telling them that math is fun, but that quickly went out the window when I realized it was funner to just to get hugs.)

Being Barbie was way better than being one of the characters with the big heads, because you're basically just yourself, but in a princess dress. In those other costumes, you can't even see. I had to wear the Strawberry Shortcake costume for a few hours one day and the head was so enormous that I had to steady it with my hands just to keep it from falling off. Kids come up and hug you, but you can't even see where they are. Not so with Barbie.

My friend Carolyn thought it was awesome when she came to visit me on the job, and saw a little kid RUNNING across the store to hug me. I dropped to my knees and gave the kid a full bear hug. Pretty rad way to spend three days.

Welcome back, toys!


  1. oh man... so awesome! Still looks kinda crowded even. And that hot dog & ketchup shirt?! Brah...

  2. you were screaming on the ferris wheel?